Why am I conscious of who I am!?  I don't want to be.  I have been crushed many times by the weight of the universe.  It hurts.  It's quite heavy.  I got in multipule arguments tonight about the meaning of life and the universe but it never seemed to make it's way across the channel of air.  I hate knowing things.  It is far too true the quote of, "The believeer is happy, the doubter is wise."