Cold

Things are still going well despite having no money and knowing that our utilities will be shut off on Friday.  I only work about 6 hours a week and that means that I effectively don't have a job.  I'm still upset with my parents over the whole emotional negligence thing.  Not much I can do about that now.  I feel pretty sad right now and I'm not sure why.  I just watched the move, "Red".  It was a delightful romp but it left me feeling alone for some reason.  I like to be alone a lot but sometimes the things that I've gone through just get to me.  I'm feeling pretty good overall but I'm also a bit disappointed in myself and worried about my future.  I withdrew from my classes, I stopped working out, I'm not doing as much art as I think I should, I don't really have a job...  I feel pretty worthless at times like these.  It scares me because it reminds me what being depressed feels like and I don't even want to go there.  The snow outside reminds me that I had a "back up plan" in the event that this fall didn't go well with medication and therapy.  Both of those have been quite good but my past still tears me up inside.  I don't really feel like I am going anywhere but I guess being happier overall is something to notice.  If common stressors like finances and school are getting me down, I worry about my future mental health.