Always so hard!

The last time I was interested in a girl I took the aggressive route.  I have NEVER been an assertive or direct kind of guy but I tried something new.  Group therapy helped me choose my approach toward anything.  I thought that if I actually reached out that others would reach back.  Nothing happened.  In fact, the other party shied away.  I chalked this up as someone with the same issues as me and I moved on.

I'm now interested in someone else but I find myself in a strange place.  She is recently out of a serious relationship and is still dealing with it.  I've been in that position before.  I've been in that position so hard that it literally almost killed me.  She is going through a lot and I don't know how to respond.  The best course of action I can think of is laissez-faire.  This reaction comes from my last interaction.  I have the utmost respect for others and don't want to be a burden and that's why it's hard for me to be assertive.  I like this lady but I know what she's been through.  The problem that I face is trying to figure out if she is even remotely interested in me or not.  I just want a yes or no answer.  I've been through all sides and can handle it.  I really don't have the patience for it anymore.

Movin' On Up

The last lady I was interested ended up not being into me so I bailed out.  My last post(s) indicated that she liked me but I posted many times and then deleted them because I thought they were too revealing.  As if this blog isn't revealing enough, RIGHT?!  She was the definition of avoidant-attachment.  I came from that and I have no intention of dealing with that again any time soon.  She was wonderful and I was incredibly attracted to her but her lack of reaction and acknowledgment turned me off after about 10 times of being rejected.  She promised many times that we'd hang out and then disappeared.  I took that as her just not being interested in me - which is fine - but it gets confusing when she says that she likes me.  I gave her about 5 second chances before I gave up.  I am ashamed that I put so much work into it.  I really tried to be compassionate and empathetic but some of us are at such different stages that they can't recognize it or they just can't articulate that they simply aren't interested.  I wish I didn't have to just bail out after so many failed attempts.  She's great but the interaction left me with a negative idea of her.  It would've been better if she just told me she didn't like me.  At least then I could've rationalized it instead of wallow in my own wonder.

It's done though!  I've moved on to better ways to invest my attention.  There's another lady and this time I am quite hesitant.  She went through the same thing that sent me to crazy land so I completely empathize with her.  She's cute and we had coffee one day but we barely know each other.  I am hesitant and hopeful, but not the way I was with the last girl.  I am more realistic this time.

I just want a best friend.  That's all I'm looking for.  I was looking for that with the last girl but nothing was reciprocated.  Hopefully my work will pay off some time.