Update

While playing L4D2 I came to realization.  I don't need to cut off the connection I feel and I don't think that I should given my current state.  As long as I understand the boundaries and keep my distance, there's no reason that I shouldn't be able to entertain fun thoughts about it without expecting them to come true.  I was incredibly sad earlier because I felt like I had not only lost my connection to her, but also to the world around me.  I think it would be best to just pretend none of the drama happened and just go with it.  I need something to keep me connected to life and there isn't anything else out there that I can grasp right now.  It's unfortunate that I can't develop the connection but that doesn't mean I need to sever it.  I'm interested to see how this works.  She'll be gone for a week so at least that'll give me time to look at myself.  Positive thoughts!