Good!

Things are actually quite good right now.  I met with my new psychiatrist the other day.  His name is Dr. Moore and he's really cool.  We doubled the Wellbutrin and lowered the Paxil.  I'm just a lot more optimistic about everything.  I still have no goals or plans or anything but I just am able to enjoy life for what it is again.  I remind me of me.  Instead of seeing myself as erased and empty I see myself as erased and clean, purified, distilled.  I'm gaining more energy to do things that I want, and I actually WANT to do things.  I'm certainly not 100%.  I still have interpersonal skills and anxiety things to work on but I'm honestly looking forward to it.  The only thing that makes me kind of sad is that I think I was probably depressed for the past 2 or 3 years, possibly more.  I've always had seasonal affective disorder but I think it started persisting longer than normal and manifesting itself in different ways to essentially make me some sort of depressed all year round.  I've got a long way to go still but I think I can handle it.