Epiphany?

I think I came to a pretty good realization today:  I have low/no self-confidence.  It explains a lot of how I've been feeling for a few years.  I'm anxious around people and that may be due to actual social anxiety, but it can be amplified by my lack of confidence.  I'm super self critical in a round-a-bout way.  I get so irritated when people do small things like drive poorly, walk poorly, speak poorly, etc.  The things you hate in others are the things you hate about yourself and if that's true then I've just been projecting all these critical things on others.  I'm always super self-conscious about the way I look, talk, act, everything!  It's terribly tiring.  I don't do anything because one, I'm clinically depressed and anxious, and two, I think I'll fail or look dumb or something.  I thought of this today and it hit me pretty hard and I loved it.  All of the things I miss about myself can be summed up as a combination of self-confidence, dysthymia, and social anxiety.  I have all of these and they reinforce each other and grow stronger all the time.  Like I told my therapist last time, "I want to be that asshole that says exactly what he's thinking and doesn't care at all about what anyone thinks."  I see that as being an asshole now, but when I think of it in terms of how I used to be, it's just being confident and stress free.  I shun that attitude now because I think that it will offend people and all I worry about now is what other people see in me.  I'm so insecure these days that I can't even see what being confident looks like.  I used to be that person.  I don't want to care too much about how I look and act.  I want to just do whatever the fuck I want and be cool with it like I used to.  I feel that if I really work on this that I'll be back to normal much faster than I had previously imagined.  Feels good, man.