Hard out there.

I had lunch with my dad today.  It got pretty emotional.  He started talking about money problems and how I can't live off borrowed money forever and stuff.  He also said that it might be necessary that I move back in with them, get a job in Clinton, and start paying loans.  Just thinking of that makes me want to cry.  There's no way that I'll go back there and work a dead end job for the rest of my life to pay off loans and not have my fucking undergraduate degree.  That's worse than dying and I wouldn't last long there.  He seemed to think that just "having to get up and go to a job everyday would help".  RIIIIGHT.  As if I don't have shit I'm supposed to be doing right now that I just can't.

I'm withdrawing from my two classes tomorrow.  I'll only be able to make use of the student health center until the end of the summer.  I'm terribly afraid that I won't be able to get loans for next semester even if I feel lots better and able to do class work.  I'm sure my parents would refuse it and then I'd be fucked.  I don't know what I'd do but I'm not going back to live in Clinton.  I've been crying off and on since lunch and I'm just so tired of not being able to make it in life.